Friday, December 24, 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Don't Be That Guy

This weekend was my company's holiday party. It was a dressy affair, held at a country club I'd only driven past, but never glimpsed on the inside. Needless to say, there was snazziness all around!

Dr. Light and I looked pretty sharp. I borrowed a dress from my sister, who insisted that I should not purchase a fancy dress this year since I was buying my wedding dress. Smart thinking, sis! The dress got rave reviews and was pretty easy to dance in!

Required photo proof of hotness:


Sorry the pic is so orange - it was taken in a dark room on my no-flash iphone. But you get the general idea.

This post, however, has less to do with the dress and more to do with what you don't see on the back of the dress. Wings.

wings_01

Friday, December 17, 2010

SOCKS!

If you've been reading the blog, you know that I'm pondering wearing a comfy pair of Danskos or Sanitas to the reception, simply because I don't know if I could survive the night in my heels. What that means, however, is picking a pair of socks!



Back in college I had several pairs of clogs that I wore sockless all the time. After a while, though, I got to the point where I felt bad putting them on because they smelled so bad after I took them off! So from then on out, my clogs got socks.

So here's a truth: I love fun socks. Especially socks with cows on them. My favorite pair of socks is cow print with a furry band around the top of them. They're so awful. I LOVE THEM. I love that they clash with all the shoes I own and that people mostly have NO IDEA what's lurking under my jeans.

So I think I should have a special pair of socks for the wedding. There are a lot of great sites out there that sell fun socks such as Sock Dreams and Joy of Socks.

But how to decide?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Sharing Skills

Being sick is always frustrating. I've got the same runny nose/sneezing/achey issue I had just last month, and I want to shake my fist at the world and say, "Enough's enough, already!" However, being sick has given me a reason to think about this post.

Before I got into this relationship with Dr. Light, I always knew that a marriage was a partnership. As in, you split the bills, help each other when needed, and give each other emotional support. But it wasn't until recently that I began to see it as much more, as a sharing of skills.

Dr. Light is a pharmacist in a hospital ICU, meaning instead of just dispensing drugs to the public, he goes on rounds with doctors and recommends changes to medication, helps administer drugs during codes (when someone's heart fails or something), and keeps an eye on charts to make sure that no drug overlaps are occurring. He works with different medications every day, meaning he's got a much broader range of commonly-talked-about drugs than most doctors do.


Source

Needless to say, it's pretty neat.

What I hadn't expected, however, was the way he is so happy to help out my friends and family with drug questions. A few months ago he recommended my sister ask her doctor about a certain drug when she had a toothache that just wouldn't quit. So she did, and you know what? Instead of having a root canal, her mouth got better!!

Just now, he and I chatted about the difference between Sudafed and the off-brand I had to pick up at the convenience store under my work, and he made me feel better about what I had chosen.

Other friends of mind have texted and called him before to make sure that they can drink while taking a certain medication or see if it reacts badly.

Why is this all relevant? Because his willingness to share himself and his knowledge has helped bring him closer to my friends and family. It's not that they're using him for his knowledge - it's more the attitude he has that he will help out whenever he can. It's helped my friends and family get to know him better and trust that he's someone who is good for their friend/daughter/relative.

I really hope that some time I can bring the same kind of benefit into HIS circle, be it through my library school education, my sewing knowledge, or some other facet of the Lilac world that I don't know could be helpful.

It's so great to see how we affect each other's worlds just beyond the immediate partner. Have you discovered something while being engaged or in a long term relationship that surprised you in a positive way?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Under the...City.

Aside from making costumes in my spare time, I have another admission.

My name is Lilac, and I love World of Warcraft.

Meet Scholastica, my Blood Elf Death Knight. She's a tank, so she goes running into the melee, taking damage and basically being a big beefcake.


BEEFCAAAAAAAKE!

Whew, ok, it's out now.

I know it's pretty rare to meet girl gamers who play WoW (though I know of plenty!), and when I met Dr. Light, I introduced him to the game. He was a bit skeptical at first. After all, who doesn't hear the "WoW widow" jokes and somewhat subscribe to the belief that a lot of online gamers are 14-year-old unwashed boys who live in their parents' basements?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Got the call!

Normally I don't answer my cell phone at work since I get crappy reception, but when it rang today with the number of my dress shop, I had to answer.

The dress in two months early.

Needless to say, I had to wander down the hall to a coworker's office and have her jump up and down with me. And then I couldn't work for about ten minutes.

The appointment to go see it is on Saturday. It will be a first fitting. I can hardly wait!

Did hearing your dress was in at the shop interrupt your day in a good way? Because it certainly did mine!

Friday, December 3, 2010

History: How We Met

Many moons ago in August of 2009, I had recently reconnected with a friend from library school. We had gotten to be buds on Facebook, and then ended up chatting one day over gchat. I'd just broken up with a casual boyfriend - i.e., someone I liked but realized was never going to be the one - so I was ready to hit the dating scene once again.

Apparently, my friend had shown Dr. Light some of my cosplay photos in the weeks prior to this moment, then had sadly informed him that I was dating. As soon as she learned I was single, she struck! She told me about a tall, dark, & handsome pharmacist who liked hiking 14-ers, music, and thought I was cute.

Well, I wasn't about to turn down a first date with someone who fancied me! I told her to go ahead and give him my e-mail address and I'd keep an eye out for him.

This is when the Internet struck.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Posing for Photos Tutorial - Part 3

Many magazines show models and stars in very dramatic positions regarding their faces. We're all used to seeing shots with a famous person whose face is pointed downward while their eyes stare into the camera. It's so striking! However, when we try that same pose at home, many times our chins completely disappear. Or we look like we have a bunch of chins.

There are a few differences between model/actor shoots and ours.

-Professional lighting equipment. The equipment helps keep weird shadows from models' faces or under their chins, so they have a lot more flexibility in terms of poses.
-Photoshop. Unsightly neck wrinkles can be swooped away in a manner of moments. Since most of us don't have a lot of experience in Photoshop, we have to work with what we've got and make sure our photos look good from the get-go.

My advice for you regarding this sometimes frustrating body part:

Keep your chin level to the camera or ground.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Are you gonna make that?

Taking a small break from the posing tutorial (of dubious quality!), I've been thinking about a question I get asked a lot.

"Are you going to make your dress?"


Source

I've been asked this question since before I got engaged. I completely get the meaning behind it - I sew, and I sew well, so why wouldn't I - and I'm doing my best to take the question as a compliment and not get amused at how frequently I hear it. Everyone who's asked me doesn't know that everyone else has also asked.

So here's the skinny. No, I'm not making my dress. Why? There are a few reasons.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Posing for Photos Tutorial - Part 2

So, here's your photo shoot. You're wandering around a park, taking amazing pictures with your photog, and you reach a bench. She says, "You two sit there and I'll take the picture from over here!" And then she bounces off to her location, leaving you to get yourselves settled. What do you do to look your best? I have one major point of advice.

Arch your back.

If your photog asks you to sit down on a bench, you can most definitely avoid sloppy sitting posture. Most people let their backs bow out and slump their shoulders forward in a natural sit, but during a shoot, you want to look as sharp as possible. It can be difficult to maintain good sitting posture, especially if you don’t have something to lean against.

Why should you arch your back? It will minimize waist flab (Yes, we all have it, but this can help!), get rid of the back hunch, and it can also help show off your neck.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Posing for Photos Tutorial - Part 1

After all the wedding forum browsing I’ve done lately, I feel pretty confident that there needs to be some kind of tutorial out there for couples who don’t take a lot of photos. There are a lot of folks out there who feel very uncomfortable with posing for pictures, probably because they’re never the focus of a photoshoot.

A lot of people don’t have to analyze how they appear in pictures. They usually see photos taken from group shots at bars or parties, and there isn’t a specific pose involved.

engage_28
We're all champions of a the snuggly-up party pose!

That being said, learning to pose can be hard. Nobody knows exactly what they look like when they get in front of the camera lens. A lot of people have unconscious behaviors they do when the camera focuses on them. When I first started doing costuming photoshoots, I tilted my head to the side like a golden retriever. Why? It felt cute. I have a friend who used to clench her jaw very tightly so she looked uncomfortable in all her photos. Heck, look at the girls on America’s Next Top Model! They pose every day and still have trouble.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Shoes: I receive ye!

After finding a pair of super cute Sanitas at DSW this weekend, I got to thinking again about reception shoes. I've already found the shoes I'm wearing for the wedding, but they're definitely not something I could dance the night away in.

A lot of bloggers and folks recommend Converse. Converse has a section on their site that lets you customize a shoe, and I've toyed around with that a few times, but I'm not sure that Converse are for me. I don't wear Converse as a regular part of my day-to-day fashion, so it seems like that choice would ultimately be one that wouldn't serve me well.


They are cute, but I'm not sure they're for me!

Instead, I wear Sanitas a lot of the time. Sanita is a brand nearly identical to Dansko - something Dr. Light introduced me to early in the relationship. As he works in a hospital and can be on his feet during rounds, it's essential that he have a comfy shoe. He kept extolling the virtues of how comfy they were, so I finally tried them out.

I finally got these.

And I love them. I wear them with all sorts of stuff they don't match because they're THAT comfy. They're one of the only pairs of shoes I have that I don't need to put insoles into, and that's saying something.

So, that got me thinking. Why choose to wear the popular shoe at my reception just because it's the popular shoe? I went hunting for a purple pair of Sanitas (or Danskos) and only came up with this:


But is purple quilt really what I want? I still have just under a year to find a pair that matches my vision better - but it's more that Sanita needs to PUT out a shoe during this year. If I don't find them, it's not the end of the world - I have two other pair (one not pictured) that could serve me just fine, but there's a tiny part of my soul that hopes the right pair will materialize out of fairy dust.

I feel pretty strongly that a shoe I love is better than just going with the current trend. I wonder what other folks have decided to do regarding reception shoes and bucking the Converse bandwagon.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Featured on Weddingbee

Today one of my favorite engagement photos was featured on Weddingbee in their Gallery of the Day.

Check it out!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Engagement Party

I admit it now: this post is long overdue. We had our engagement party back in September. My dad and stepmom threw it, and it was a blast. The only downside was that Dr. Light's mom was in a non-serious car accident after she left, so a few other members of his family had to skedaddle too.

I also managed to catch no photos of Dr. Light's family. I think it will have to be up to him to grab some, as taking photos, schmoozing, and drinking get kind of hard for me. :)

My stepmom changes the chalkboard art on her kitchen pig. For the party, our initials!
engage_01

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Unexpected Advice

On Monday, Dr. Light and I had the pleasure of sitting down for a test run with a caterer, The Food Guy. Instead of having generic menus with a price point, this caterer will help you come up with ideas with cost based on number of proteins in your meal. This allows them to fit the meal to a theme.

They were fantastic. We tried a very delicious salad that had vinaigrette dressing, a cut of pork that was so tender I almost thought it was beef, mashed potatoes and spinach, and a little slice of cake. I'm pretty sure that we'll end up going with them, as we had several personal visits by the owner, a very friendly rep who would help us on the wedding day, and a good overall feeling to the entire affair.

What I didn't expect, however, was the unexpected advice we got.

After we sat down in the tasting room, Dr. Light was across from our rep, a shorter woman named Brittney. We chatted for a while, and then suddenly Brittney grabbed the very tall centerpiece from the table and moved it to the floor because she couldn't see Dr. Light over its flowery stems. She said something to the effect of, "Make sure your guests can see one another."


An example of a centerpiece I think is too big!

Source

For her it was probably a throwaway comment, but it definitely made an impact on me. While browsing for various wedding ideas, I've seen my fair share of tall centerpieces - flowers, manzanita branches, candles, elaborately tiered boxes and birdcages. Sure, they've all been pretty, but it made me realize that no matter how pretty a centerpiece is, it's not doing a good job if your guests can't see each other at the table. I think it stifles conversation cross-table, or, at the very lease, causes frustration.

My goal is to have any centerpiece we choose be something that our guests can see each other over so nobody has to do the duck and weave all evening long. I'm just really glad we had that moment of unexpected advice, since I think it will definitely change how I approach our decorations. I hope to post some thoughts about mockups sooner rather than later, but right now I have plenty of time to think.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Ring

A few weeks ago I decided to take our shiny, brand new camera outside and snap some quick ring photos. All I had before that was an iPhone photo, and while ok, wasn't what I wanted to post all over the blogosphere. I decided to use some of the pumpkins and corn we bought at our engagement shoot as setting pieces.

I particularly cherish the idea of an engagement ring because, in my eyes, it not only symbolizes the love that Dr. Light has for me, but for the item he's given me to protect - a representation of his love and his heart. Ok, enough with the gooey stuff.

Here are a few of my favorite shots.

ring_01

ring_02

ring_04

ring_05

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Engagement Photos!

Our engagement photos arrived on their DVD yesterday after getting lost in the mail (the photog had to mail a new dvd to us). They were taken by Vanessa Kruse at Flourish Studio Photography, and we LOVED working with her!

We took our photos at an amazing pumpkin patch/corn maze called Rock Creek Farms in Westminster, Colorado. They were absolutely awesome and let us photograph there for free for over an hour, so of course we paid them back by buying a lot of pumpkins when we left. They also allowed us to bring our apricot toy poodle, Loki. He was very well behaved.

We started out at the corn maze. Nobody else was there, so we had full run of our little section of the world.

Vanessa told us to just love on each other and have fun. We thought it would be hard, but when you have to kiss the guy you love, posing gets easy.


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Bouquets

In the past few days I've gotten excited about the prospect of bouquets. As a bride-to-be who isn't a huge fan of flowers, I've been putting my thoughts into alternate options than the traditional bouquet that will die soon after the wedding. I'm having a hard time thinking that spending a ton of money on flowers is worth it.

My search first started with the brooch bouquet. I've seen the idea mentioned in various places - WeddingBee, Offbeat Bride - and it seemed like a good one. They're unique, lovely, and fun!



Source: ruffledblog.com

Monday, October 18, 2010

Say Yes to the Dress!

This weekend I spent some time watching "Say Yes to the Dress" as I worked on my Halloween costume. As a person who doesn't much enjoy reality TV, I was admittedly enjoying myself as I watched brides try on various dress styles. SYttD feels like a show that celebrates happiness more than reveling in cattiness, though they did toss in the troublemakers (be it the bridesmaids, mothers, or clerks at the store) where they could.

One thing I found I wished they would do would be to put up notes on the dresses the brides tried on. A few times the designers/dress styles were mentioned, but the information comes and goes so fast, it's hard to know what you've just seen. The way I view it, women are probably watching this show, in part, to get dress ideas. Knowing what style or designer was tried on would be a great boon to women who want to see the dress on a real-life model.

I've never subjected myself to any of the other bridal shows such as Bridezillas. I think I'll stick to SYttD.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Workout Breakup

When Dr. Light and I first got engaged, I told myself I was going to work out like crazy. I was going to lose those 10 "happy" pounds I'd put on since we had met. It seemed like a good goal, but my only issue has been, well, that I don't work out.

I started out pretty strong. I bought an awesome DVD called 30 Day Shred, and it really kicked my heinie!



Source


The only issue is that there is so much required squatting and knee-intensive activities, I found the DVD painful to do for more than two days in a row. I have pretty bad knees, to the point where the first time I walked upstairs in Dr. Light's condo he asked me if I had tic-tacs in my pocket because my knees cracked that badly.

It gets especially bad when I have to go down stairs in the days after workouts to that DVD. I've had to start lifting myself down them.

So, that leaves me with the thought that I'm going to have to figure out some other way. I've used the exercise room at the condo to do the elliptical machine, and that's pretty nice. It's just the gumption to walk outside and go up to the facility that challenges me.

I know that this is all dependent on my own will power, and it's a challenge I'm gonna have to face or dodge. I just wish that my knees were better. I'm really not looking forward to the replacement surgery that will inevitably happen in the years to come. I figure that I shouldn't hurt them badly now, though.

So, 30 Day Shred, as much as I love you, I think it's time for us to break up.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

A month or so ago, Dr. Light and I headed up to Arvada to the Das Meyer Fine Pastry Chalet, a cute little house that had been converted into a bakery many years ago. Every Saturday they host an open house cake tasting where you can sample wedding cake flavors. It's completely on the house, including milk, coffee, tea, etc.

The whole place is super quaint, and even better, they had gargoyle statues set up all over. It really made the ambiance. :)

This little guy was next to our table.


After taking a quick walk around the bakery (you can see photos of their work on their website), we went over to the cake counter and chose four flavors: strawberries & champagne, berries in a cloud, orange blossom, and some chocolatey thing Dr. Light wanted to try. (For the record, I'm not a huge fan of chocolate cake.)

We were pretty excited.


The strawberries & champagne was DEFINITELY the best, so that sits at the top of our list for this particular bakery. We weren't so in love that we decided to use them right there and then, so we'll tour elsewhere, but if you are looking for a bakery that is well known, time-tested, and Lilacwire-approved, Das Meyer is a good start!

Sit your ass down!

(While shaping this blog, I'm going to cross-post some items from my personal journal because they pertain to wedding/engagement/creativity.)

Dr. Light and I have vastly different ideas about how to seat our wedding guests during the reception. As we will be serving dinner, we'll have tables and chairs and that whole shebang, but we want to handle them differently. As a note, we haven't even STARTED on seating arrangements, as we haven't even sent out invites or save the dates (which would be at earliest next year), but I was sitting here at work, stapling papers, and got to thinking.



Source


Me? I could care less where anyone sits. I figure we've been seating ourselves for the last 17-70 years (our guests' age ranges, most likely), so folks won't have an issue finding seats. I know it's wedding tradition to have a good chart, but I've been to multiple weddings in the past few years that let people just seat their darned selves and it all worked out beautifully.

Dr. Light likes the idea of ye olde seating chart. Perhaps pair some people together that have never met. Or keep some people apart (hi, mom and dad! - more coming on them at another time). It's not that folks will be at these seats all night, or anything. Just for an hour or so while we nom nom nom. So it could be a great mix & mingle opportunity.

What I wanted to know - what do you think? What have your experiences been with the dreaded seating chart? Did you have fun getting sat next to new people, or did you secretly wish the entire time that you were sitting next to a friend across the room?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Engaged!

Although Mr. Light's intention to propose was no secret between us, it was still a pretty amazing moment when he did.

We'd been hanging out all night, enjoying a spaghetti dinner and conversation, when he slid off the couch and onto his knees. He told me that I was the only woman for him, that he loved me, and more that I can't remember because I have the crummiest auditory memory ever - but the look in his eyes was more than enough.

He popped the box open and I'm pretty sure I said "yes" somewhere in there, but as he slid the ring onto my finger, I made sure to say it about ten more times. I kind of love that it was at home where we are making our lives together, but most of all I cherish having his earnest look in my memory. So wonderful. <3

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Shoes

There was a post over on Weddingbee today (Source) where a gal was asking if the dress was easier to find than the shoes.

Yes. A million times, yes.

I have a ton of time until this even becomes an issue, but my head is a-buzz of possibilities. I just posted a few weeks ago about desiring to go with shoes that break the mold of white, strappy, plain - but the more I think about it and discuss my thoughts with my sister and friends, the more nervous I am about heels. And flats. And anything else. It all starts glomming together into a ball of "oh, crap."

What if heels are too high? What if I want to dance and party in my dress all night long but I can't stand to STAND for that long in them? And if I take them off, the dress becomes too long? That's no good!


I love these, but are they two high? (Source)


What if I wear flats and it's the middle of October and there's snow? And we wanted to do some pics outside? That's no good!

What if I wear boots of some sort and my feet are hot the entire time? That's no good either!

Next week will mark the time that my dress will officially be ordered - with a set height (which can be altered, but at cost) - and I want to try and give the store the most accurate height measurement of Lilacwire with shoes on as possible.

As a regular-height gal living in an Express-height world, it means that most of my pants come too long and I have to hem them to a good place. And I'm 5'5". I stress about the length of items on my legs and feet almost every day. I guess this should be no different, but I kind of wish THE SHOES would launch themselves out of the woodwork like my dress did and make this whole decision ridiculously easy.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Unexpected Expenses

As I have began the process of purchasing the dress, I've had to set some money aside each week so I can pay half of the dress's cost. It's a pretty pricey piece of clothing, ringing in just under $2,000. I figure I can't take the money to the grave, and I'm lucky enough to have a job that pays me well, so I can do this.

On that note, things happen. My little poodle Loki has been a bit under the weather this week, needing to use the restroom in the middle of the night A LOT, so I had to take him in to the vet for meds and a checkup. Suddenly, that extra money that I was going to use toward a dress has gone to a vet.

My sister texted me via her boyfriend's phone a few minutes ago and informed me she had dropped her phone in the street and a passing car ran it over and destroyed it. Ouch. She helped me buy a laptop when I was jobless last year, so I've been paying her back. To get a phone, she needs some money pretty soon. Thus, her immediate need for cash becomes my immediate need, and I need to give another payment for the dress today.

It's those expenses that we never really figure for.

I'm lucky. I can help her out with a laptop payment and still do a payment on the dress - but her phone isn't inexpensive. I wonder what else she's going to have to put on hold while she builds back up that painful dent in her wallet.

Now I have to figure that as Mr. Light and I head into possible marriage plans, we're going to have more items like this happen. Things break or get stolen. People park by braille and put dents in cars. We require doctor's visits.

I wonder what other unexpected expenses have come up to stop a good wedding plan?

Monday, January 25, 2010

Poof.

I mentioned in my first entry that I'm thinking I'll be married within the next few years. I don't even have a ring on my finger yet, but I find myself looking through an ample selection of online sites relating to weddings. The Knot, Offbeat Bride, and other assorted sites Google Reader's pushed my way. It's probably not the best habit to get into, but Dr. Light and I are pretty committed, and he admitted the other day that he joined The Knot before I did!

We've had some conversations about what we want at a wedding (he and I like the same colors - blue and purple), Dr. Light did drop one bomb on me: he wanted my dress to be primarily white. Now, I've never been that gal who daydreamed about her dress, what it would look like, etc., but I've also never had my dreams set on a white dress. In fact, I was thinking that it would be awesome to go with something colorful.

A few years ago I saw a wedding where the bride wore a red dress, and it was the first time I had been exposed to a different color dress. So my options had been expanding. Maybe a lilac dress to match my favorite color. Maybe something blue! So this kind of made me go "oh."

I guess I could look at it in that way of "BUT it's MY DRESS!" I can't. I feel like he's allowed to have his fantasies come in here too, so I've been thinking about a way that I could include his and my dreams.

On that note, what are my dreams, you ask? I started with wanting a halloween wedding. Then evolved to a costume party. Now, and this is what I think will stick: a masquerade. Guests can wear awesome formal attire and masks, something outrageous, something fun. I want my dress to fit in with this. I think I can, and I think that I can give Dr. Light and myself something we both want.

[This part removed for spoilers, since I don't want Dr. Light to know what I like.]

What did I realize as well? I'm not a fan sashes on gowns. I've definitely seen some that look great and I understand why women do it - it makes an easy match to any wedding colors and can define a waist. It's just not my style, however.





To me, they draw attention away from the beauty of the dresses. If I'm going to spend a grand on a dress, I want the dress to shine!

Of course, I don't mind the idea of color in dresses - I just want to see it incorporated more fully.

So now that I have some thoughts for possible dresses, I gotta wait and see how finances and ideas pan out. Will I make my own? After all, I did spend six months on this travesty. :P

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Hello

I've been a poster on good ole Livejournal.com for about seven years now, but I felt that my posts there were more of a personal nature and I wanted to open a blog that focused on the more homey aspects of my life. I am expecting to be engaged within about a year. I sew, sometimes for work clothes, sometimes for more alternative projects. I like to paint, decorate, whatever.

A little more about me. I'm a 29-year old records manager (think: corporate librarian) from Denver, Colorado. I've been sewing for ten years, mainly in the form of reproductional costuming. It's a pretty sweet thing.

The guy. Dr. Light, I'll call him. Pharmacist, Air Force brat, and will likely make a guesst appearance or two in photos. He's pretty sweet for a guy. For instance, he wrote Christmas cards this year while I was lazy.

Other main characters: a sister, friends, and a toy apricot poodle.

The setting: Beginning February 1 I will be moving in with Dr. Light. It's a condo he's owned for a few years, so there will likely be a long uphill battle for us to work out a situation where it feels like ours, rather than his. He's been on board with me the whole way on this, but I know there will be some rough spots.