Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Costs of Communication

I'm starting to realize that accepting financial help from a parent comes with consequences. These aren't necessarily bad; they're just something that needs to be given proper attention. After a few months of stressing over guest list choices and if we will be asked to invite certain people because my Dad is helping pay for the wedding - I got on the phone with him yesterday to let him know that I needed our lines of communication to be better.

I'm a particularly bad phone-communicator. I don't really like being on the phone for all that long; text is my chosen vehicle of communication. So all this time where I was stressing and anxious, I really should have nailed down what financial assistance with the wedding really means.

Questions I think all couples should iron out right from the beginning regarding a parent's financial assistance:

1. Does this give the parent the right to choose major aspects of the wedding such as the bride's dress? The location?

2. Will the parent get a certain number of invites to hand out - no matter who they go to?

3. Should the parent be taken to things such as tastings and viewings?

4. Is the money a gift?

These are only a few that I could come up with on short notice, but I know I've seen many brides discuss them on forums. Being able to discuss these questions can be difficult, especially if the family isn't big on open communication. I'm lucky that my dad is a pretty eloquent, thought-out kind of guy, and when I approached him about us having clearer channels, he was all for it.

How does your family communicate? Would a frank discussion about wedding costs be hushed up quickly, or would it make your life a lot easier?

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